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Leadership is Feminine

For most women, when we are invited to study leadership the teachers, scholars, authorities and models are primarily… men. We are indoctrinated from the time we are born that men are the leaders and that natural male characteristics are the strengths you must also possess to be a good leader. Powerful. Strong. Authoritative. Direct. Assertive. Decisive. These and so many more are attributes that are typically associated with the male model of a leader. And so, for the better part of the last one hundred years as women have made their way into the fold, in a variety of leadership roles, we have learned and studied to walk the way of a men to achieve success. Women dismiss their own knowing because we’ve been so indoctrinated in male leadership models. We dismiss what we know for what others tell us to be and how to be seen. There is another way to lead. To be in alignment. To not feel like an imposter. It’s time for the reimagining of leadership. That’s not to disparage any of the progress that has come before us. Progress is progress. For those of us who stand in the footsteps of the women who came before us we are here because of their courage, bravery and resilience. I wonder instead if women equally looked to the characteristics they learned from their mothers for leadership. I wonder if we were taught to lean on different qualities to drive success. I wonder what might happen then? The traditional qualities of mothering are communication, nurturing, listening, strength, support, grace, and yes… love. What if to be the best leader you can be as a woman, you integrated the best of both? This is how women will stand with integrity in their role as leaders. As women, we can be assertive, direct, powerful, and authoritative but we need not only rely on those attributes for success. After 25 years of watching and studying leaders, I can tell you that for sure many traditional male attributes are effective in the short run, but they typically only serve a few. Whereas, when leadership is feminine. When the leader possesses the strengths of femininity and grace the results are for all. This podcast is my like my gentle request and invitation to my fellow female leaders that we reclaim the world leadership as one that is a feminine definition. That we continue to work with all of our allies to build organizations and systems that include more support, collaboration, grace and communication. And that we do so not because we are uncomfortable with the more traditional male-dominating models, but because we truly do know that leadership is a feminine strength and attribute. And the world needs more of us leading. Now more than ever.
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Sep 5, 2022

Why do I say yes when I really want to say no? Why do women, more often than men, gravitate toward people pleasing? I found myself asking these questions and thus pondering: What do I think I’m accomplishing when I’m so agreeable? What am I actually accomplishing? To take it a step further, I pondered the reverse: What am I actually accomplishing when I’m being more controlling?

As we start Season 5 of Leadership Is Feminine, I want to focus on a time of change and some decompression from the pressures we’ve all been under. One definite source of pressure as leaders is people pleasing, as is the opposite, which I term people depleting. This is when people are demanding and controlling, so they themselves can be the one pleased. An interesting fact is that we can find ourselves on either side, depending on the issue and circumstances. But no matter what side we’re on, we can help mitigate the resulting pressure when we better understand people pleasing and controlling as leaders.

“You’re saying yes… not to please the other person. You’re saying yes… because you don’t want to experience your own discomfort of saying no… So who are we really pleasing in the moment? And are we really pleasing anybody?” – Kris Plachy

What You’ll Learn

  • People pleasing and people depleting
  • Who we’re really pleasing
  • Delighting people instead
  • Pleasing ourselves through control
  • How either approach affects our business
  • Taking personal responsibility
  • Handling our own discomfort

Contact Info and Recommended Resources

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