In most cultures, there has been a prevalent teaching–whether direct or indirect–that women should always be nice. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should be mean or rude, but I am saying that, as female leaders, we need to stop being so nice. Immediately.
Why am I advocating for such a seemingly controversial shift in how women lead? Because we need to be expecting, and directly expressing to people, a different expectation, a higher level of personal responsibility. And frankly, holding others to that higher expectation often appears “mean”. So how do we actively hold people to a proper standard? What is the opposite of nice without being seen as witchy? Let’s talk about it.
“Nice doesn’t win the day. That nice compromises you as a leader, it compromises respect, and frankly, it compromises the growth and potential of your company.” – Kris Plachy
There has been a death of the art of mentorship. We moved from the emphasis of knowing how to do things into the emphasis of education and holding a degree. The issue with this is few people know how to be anything other than managed. And even fewer people have been mentored and know how to mentor. We’re facing a massive deficit in people who know how to develop themselves and others.
Because this does affect our businesses in a very real way, this episode contains an excerpt from one of the modules in my new LEAD FOR WOMEN program, as well as an excerpt from one of the Voxer messages I left a client. I wanted to share these as a podcast episode because they perfectly display both the necessity of and a real-world application of moving from managing people to mentoring them. So let’s go, Mama!
“I believe that if you could learn and adopt a mentorship and a leadership philosophy to how you run your business, instead of a management and a command / control approach, it will change everything for you.” – Kris Plachy
Hiring is a delicate process and I don’t really think there is just one right way to do it. What worked for one person may not work for you. After all, people are all different. But there are some common mistakes I’ve seen clients make–and I’ve made a few myself–that I’d like to help you avoid.
So I feel it’s worth a conversation on how to at least avoid the top five hiring mistakes entrepreneurs make. Whenever we can learn from the experiences of others, we become better equipped and more empowered. Speaking of which, I want to encourage you once again to check out my LEAD FOR WOMEN program. Through this program, myself and my team work with Elite Visionary Women who are effectively leading their teams to bring their genius to life… of which hiring is an integral part.
“The sooner you can sort of start to recognize there will always be a cadence to your business that will require you to be hiring, you can get, hopefully, out of this resentment, burden mode and just accept that this is part of what you do.” – Kris Plachy
Self-honesty and the ability to express that honestly is a game changer in life. Yet we avoid telling some truths, both to ourselves and others. Why is that? Is it because we downplay how critical it is? Is it because we aren’t sure how to express ourselves without seeming rude or cruel? Is it because we are–at the heart of it–afraid?
In this episode, I touch on why we don’t have honest conversations and how we can change that. As you listen, I encourage you to examine your own approach to honesty. After all, pure honesty must first begin with being truthful with yourself. I also encourage you to consider going much deeper into this self-awareness through my LEAD FOR WOMEN program. In it, I and my team can work with you personally to root out why you’re afraid of speaking your truth.
“If we had a core belief that we were strong enough to handle whatever happens on the other side of an honest conversation, what might we do differently?” – Kris Plachy
Websites:
Email: hello@krisplachy.com
It’s finally live! After a very long time of contemplation, evaluation and hard work, LEAD FOR WOMEN is ready. As I’ve moved through this extremely intense season of change and confusion, I have embraced that success in life is not about having the perfect “how to”. It’s about embracing feminine leadership, making it your own.
When we look at the world, they want you to just buy tactics. But I want to help you move past this archaic approach and into the power of leading as a woman in today’s culture – without falling prey to the old “how to” ways that emphasize masculine traits. Let’s come together to leverage our feminine power and wisdom and change the world.
“I believe that the wisdom of the years that have come and gone have never left the energy of every woman on this planet. I believe that she hears a voice that calls to her, that tells her when she’s in her truth and can be her most powerful.” – Kris Plachy
When it comes to releasing and detoxing, money can be a huge issue. Some people have a great relationship with their finances, others a horrible one, and I would say the majority of us fall somewhere in the middle. For myself, I discovered I had unknowingly harbored a lot of toxicity about finances. When I would think about my connotations regarding money, my thoughts and feelings appeared pretty on the surface… but they really weren’t.
In this episode, I open up about my own money detoxing. Through the process, I learned I was believing some things about myself and my finances that weren’t as freeing as I’d thought them to be. I hope by sharing my experience, I can help you recognize and release any of your own toxic thoughts and beliefs.
“We make money because we step into a different version of ourselves and that version attracts more abundance, more wealth… Transformation generates wealth.” – Kris Plachy
Editing and evaluating your life is super powerful. It reinforces a firm foundation when you take time out to evaluate where you’ve been and then decide if that is where you truly want to be and the pursuit you wish to continue. After all, what good is it to continue to build on top of something that isn’t what you really want and/or isn’t serving you well?
To this end, years ago I began doing the visionary business & life edit for myself. It is an intense yet refreshing and invigorating deep dive into where I’ve been and where I’m going. As the edit unfolds, it probes into those things that are being avoided or not dealt with, and even into those things that aren’t being as savored and celebrated as they should. I invite you to join me both through this podcast and, potentially, in person for your business & life edit.
“The win is in the way… How I achieve what I want is actually the win. It’s not what I want, because that target moves.” – Kris Plachy
Why do we feel shame and guilt when we succeed? Where does that come from and why does it hang on, despite the fact that women are punching through old norms?
First, it’s important to note that success is defined by a variety of factors. What one person views as success, another may view as not as important. It might be a particular amount in your bank account, the number of your clients, the size of your team, your notoriety, your following, the amount of personal freedom you enjoy… It’s not about what you consider success, it’s about how you feel about that success. And I believe that, especially as women, we all struggle with this on some level.
“We make the correlation that our joy means we deserve our pain… [And] it takes away our ability in the moment to relish and savor the joy… [Because] we believe there is a boomerang… we dull the joy to protect ourselves from imminent bad.” – Kris Plachy
We all have a subconscious or invisible internal compass. Like a physical compass, it naturally shows us where we currently are in space and time, and gives us clarity in the direction we should go next. But unlike a physical compass, it can be much more difficult to read.
Pondering this concept, I wanted to talk about how we all operate with our invisible compass but aren’t always aware of it. Knowing this, is there a way to change our focus so we can more readily both direct and follow our internal compass? I think so. Let’s talk about it.
“The answers that you provide to the questions that you ask yourself are your subconscious life and business plan. This is how you operate in the world… it is an ongoing, pulsing heartbeat of belief.” – Kris Plachy
What about rest? True rest? What would that look like? Most of us are not very good at facilitating and executing true rest. We are, on the other hand, very good at having so much to do that we block our ability to rest. You know what I mean… having too many of those things that suck our time and leave us exhausted and overwhelmed.
So I’m calling this a summer of rest. The summer we detoxed from saying yes and said no more. I invite you to implement your own Visionary Summer Detox along with me. In this episode, I share my thoughts and ideas that I hope provide you with inspiration and some direction. Let’s get to resting.
“Let that toxicity of the unsaid words leave your body. It’s time. It’s exhausting to carry around unspoken conversations.” – Kris Plachy
We may not–yet–be able to address all the reasons there are not more women at the top of organizations, but we can address areas in which we have more control. We do have authority and agency over certain aspects of this current reality. So while we work toward systemic change, let’s also work on the daily decisions we make and with whom we choose to surround ourselves.
As we examine this together, I want to encourage us all to be bold in exploring our own beliefs about ourselves. Where might we be unknowingly limiting ourselves? How might we be unintentionally not advancing our leadership skills? How might we be unwittingly diminishing our presence, even within our own companies? There is a lot to consider, so let’s dive deeply into it.
“You don’t owe anybody any version of yourself other than the one that’s real. And we change. All of us change.” – Kris Plachy
You need a crew, strong woman, a team. As women, we are conditioned to be the caregivers, the ones helping everyone else. Unfortunately, this can lead to extremes, such as being unable to allow ourselves to get connected to a team and becoming demanding or having a team but struggling to really allow them to help us and unintentionally compromising.
Regardless of where you are on this spectrum, it's time to take to heart the truth that you need some help. You need people to come alongside you to do the things that they can do, to free you to do what only you can do. Let’s talk about it.
“A strong woman recognizes that weakness does not exist in asking for help. Weakness only exists in suffering without help.” – Kris Plachy
YOU are the prize and you do not chase. But, if this is true–and it is–why do we not live in this reality? Why do we find ourselves chasing, rather than living as the prize?
As a woman who believes deeply in the value of women (not to say I don’t value men), I desire for you to see yourself as you truly are. Someone of worth. Someone with a beautiful gift to give. Someone worth being supported, listened to, respected... and living the truth that the prize does not chase–regardless of what we’ve been taught over our lifetimes.
“Why is it that not everybody lives by that? Because you don’t believe you’re a prize… You don’t believe you are worthy of not chasing.” – Kris Plachy
There is a decision that has the power to separate you from where you are to where you want to be. But if you don’t even know what it is, if you’re stuck in the spin of crisis, how can you make that decision?
As I’ve worked with my clients, I’ve found that in dealing with a crisis, there is typically just one decision that is preventing all other decisions from happening. Literally it is one decision standing in your way, causing everything else to stall and stagnate. But when you can identify that decision within the swirl of all that is happening, and deal with it… all else begins to be resolved as well. Let’s talk about it.
“It was just one decision that would lead to one action. And then, that one action would allow for everything else to be resolved.” – Kris Plachy
As we go along in our journey, especially as visionaries, we grow, we change, our thinking evolves. It can be liberating and scary and wonderful and nerve-racking, all at the same time. But it is inevitable. We don’t stay the same, and I would say this is good, as we shouldn’t stay the same in many regards.
In this episode, I talk about the visionary’s journey. About my journey. I share my thoughts, my heart, and how I’ve changed in the way I think about what I do as a result of my journey. If you’re a visionary, it’s likely you’re on your own journey. So I hope by sharing some of mine, I might offer you some insights and encouragement. Please come with me.
“That may mean that the business doesn’t have the same trajectory that it did under the visionary but that doesn’t make the trajectory bad.” – Kris Plachy
Visionaries are more than simply dreamers. Visionaries focus not only on what might be but how to make it into reality. They hold a deep belief that what they dream can–and will–happen. To me, this is a sense like smelling or hearing. But what happens if this asset you’ve always relied upon suddenly isn’t there?
Every visionary has times when she cannot see. And it’s disorienting. It’s stifling. It’s paralytic. It’s shameful. But don’t worry, it’s okay. You’re not broken. It’s not a character flaw. After all, vision is ether. Let’s talk about it.
“I think you don’t know because the answer doesn’t exist yet. And we have to trust that.” – Kris Plachy
There is a myth that authority and leadership looks and sounds a certain way. Traditionally, this has been the expected look and voice pattern of a white, well-educated male. And, as a society, we’ve insidiously allowed that strangely ingrained falsehood to remain and grow deep roots. But it’s completely false.
Leadership does not have a specific look nor sound. Rather, it has characteristics. First of all, authority does not automatically equal leadership. One can have authority but not really be a leader or one can have and be both. Secondly, leadership isn’t telling other people what to do. That is authority. Leadership is so much more. Let’s talk about these important distinctions.
“What if it isn’t authoritarian approach? ‘Do what I say’. What if it’s more, ‘Hey, I’m doing this thing… Do you wanna come?... What if your primary role was the nurturing of and development of the future that you imagine?” – Kris Plachy
As visionaries, it is vital we create and embrace the flexibility to be able to pivot within our businesses and our focuses. Even if and when things are going extremely well, there is always development we continue to need as women, both individually and as an overall group, plus as CEOs. Unfortunately, the fear of making changes–especially big ones–is where many leaders end up stuck.
The Kris Plachy Team has watched these truths unfold as we’ve worked with nearly countless female CEOs over many years. That’s why I am so very excited to have my team with me for this episode. Recently, I made the decision to change up a lot of what we do and they agreed to come on the podcast to talk about things they’ve both seen and experienced. Michelle, Crista and Chelsea opened up about topics like filling the vision hole, reconfiguring the picture, reassuring your team, embracing the spirit of possibility, and much more.
“I think all of us who run businesses… we have to have these moments where we’re willing to be in suspension, in the in-between. It’s where we get a lot of really good insight.” – Kris Plachy
Book:
Company of One: Why Staying Small Is the Next Big Thing for Business by Paul Jarvis
I want to thank my team, Michelle Arant, Director of Operations and Coach with the Kris Plachy Coaching Group, Crista Grasso, Fractional CMO, and Chelsea Sheridan, Executive of All Things Social Media, Landing Pages & Digital Marketing, once more for being on this episode with me!
Keeping a schedule may not come naturally to you. But developing the habit of holding specific hours gives you the boundaries and structure you need. Why? Not because you need to work more. But because you need to work less. Stick with me here…
Let’s be real, you don't need more “how to” courses or workbooks or whatever. You need time to sit with yourself, listen to yourself, talk about yourself, and come into the powerful place where you accept the reality that there can be so much more for you. I long to help you, to come alongside you, to hold that space for you. And it starts with setting appropriate office hours and honoring your priorities.
“Do you honor that vision that you had for yourself… that you wanted to be flexible, that you didn’t want to work 40, 50, 80 hours a week. That you weren’t going to create a job for yourself. Have you created a job that you’re trapped in?... A business that you’re trapped in?” – Kris Plachy
Apple Podcasts | Stitcher | Spotify | Google Podcasts
Sometimes you just need to be reassured: You are incredibly important, you are amazing, you are worthwhile. But I know you question from time to time. And you permit things in your life that aren't in your best interest. That's why I’m here to remind you of the truth of your worth.
As I’ve spoken into the lives of women over many years, I’ve always advocated strongly for them to value themselves more highly and to have agency in their lives. I want to help guide you into a place of vulnerability – not to other people, but within yourself. To explore and work through those spaces in your life where you know you’re working against yourself but don’t know how to stop. If this resonates within, this episode is my love letter to you.
“That little dark corner becomes a corner you use to define who you are in the world. And that is a lie. You are incredible. You are capable.” – Kris Plachy
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Growing in leadership involves asking yourself: Where did I learn those things that aren’t really right? Especially as women. For instance, where did we learn to basically shut off our prefrontal cortex when it comes to making decisions? Particularly when leadership is involved? And where did we ever get the idea that we just need more templates, more how-tos, more quick fixes?
There are so many successful, competent and confident women in leadership who have the capacity to stand in their decisions but they waver. Why? It’s not that they don’t know. They are aware they’re abdicating their authority. And that needs to stop. We all, as female leaders, need to move into conscious competence. We each need to become the woman who knows who she is. Let’s talk about this.
“Templates… will not resolve the emotional distress you have as a leader… The only thing that’s gonna resolve that is you upleveling the way that you think about yourself as the woman who leads your company.” – Kris Plachy
Recommended episode that pairs well with this one:
Season 6 Episode 13: Entrepreneurial Boredom
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Feeling bored, unmotivated, even lazy in building our businesses is normal. We hit inflection points in which we need to make and implement decisions that will change the course of our business – and often ourselves. Some things may need only slightly tweaking, some need almost completely retooled, and some need to be retired altogether. This is the inevitable evolution of business.
When you find yourself at such an inflection point, it may also hit you that you’ve become a bit of a lone wolf during the building of your business. Things are going well, and you're successful, but the team you’ve built does most of the work now. And you, as the business owner, find yourself at loose ends… experiencing entrepreneurial boredom. You feel trapped and tied down to your business, where once you felt invigorated and free. So you wonder, is it time to change what I’m personally doing? Yes. Let’s talk about it.
“But these inflections, these moments where you feel incredibly dis-eased, very uncomfortable, in your own business, this is what we’ve got to pay attention to… Let’s figure out what’s going on here for you. ‘Cause you’re spinnin’.” – Kris Plachy
Season 6 Episode 11: LIVE PODCAST: How To CEO Your Business When It’s Time For Massive Change
As we go through life, we are given time to accomplish what we’re supposed to accomplish. Some get more time given to them than others. But every person’s fulfillment of what they were to do is valuable and special.
In this episode, I want to encourage you to look at what you are spending your time doing. Are you fulfilling your promise of a lifetime? Are you doing what you’re meant to do? Or are you dismissing what you’re capable of because you’re afraid? Let’s talk about it right now, before another moment passes.
“You don’t need more stuff. You need to get inspired. You need to be inspired to the point that you touch and tap into your own genius.” – Kris Plachy
The CEO Boutique: Digital Clinics offered by Kris Plachy: Essential Practices for Women Who Lead. Shop what’s available, including Kickstart Team Ops, Team Audits, Dealing with Difficult People and much more!
I deeply appreciate your reviews! It really makes a difference. Please leave me a review on your favorite podcast platform:
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Website: How to CEO
Email: hello@krisplachy.com
Work with Kris: How to CEO
Join the email list: krisplachy.com
I almost called this episode, How Do You CEO Your Business When You Wanna Burn the Whole F-ing Thing Down? Because, let’s be honest, sometimes it seems like it would just be easier to wash your hands of the whole thing, right?
If you resonate with this feeling even a little bit, you’re in the right place. In this episode, I discuss the three biggest gaps I see over and over again that either cause massive change or are the result of it. I also tackle the underlying psychological components you’ll need to sit with, such as getting clean and clear, as well as preparing for people to take change personally. Finally, if after listening to this episode you realize you’re ready for more specific advice, I would love to work with you.
“Every visionary confronts moments where they don’t believe in their own vision.” – Kris Plachy
The CEO Boutique: Digital Clinics offered by Kris Plachy: Essential Practices for Women Who Lead. Shop what’s available, including Kickstart Team Ops, Team Audits, Dealing with Difficult People and much more!
I deeply appreciate your reviews! It really makes a difference. Please leave me a review on your favorite podcast platform:
Apple Podcasts | Stitcher | Spotify | Google Podcasts
If you’re like so many business owners, you absolutely love what you’re doing, what you’re bringing to the world… But managing people? Not so much. In fact, if you could do everything without needing to lead others, you would. Unfortunately, you have to have help. You simply can’t do it all alone.
Regardless of where you feel you land on the capability scale, let me assure you: You can develop the necessary skills to lead well the gorgeous business you’ve been kissed with. But before you can make leading people easy, you must first believe it’s even possible. Let’s talk about it.
“The stillness of your own mind, without the clutter of the story, is where ease exists.” – Kris Plachy
My How to CEO program begins February 16, 2023 – The updated version of How to CEO includes the opportunity for management training for anyone on your team, while you go through the program.
The CEO Boutique: Digital Clinics offered by Kris Plachy: Essential Practices for Women Who Lead. Shop what’s available, including Kickstart Team Ops, Team Audits, Dealing with Difficult People and much more!
I deeply appreciate your reviews! It really makes a difference. Please leave me a review on your favorite podcast platform:
Apple Podcasts | Stitcher | Spotify | Google Podcasts
The All-In Coterie for 2023: Helping women identify what they really want to achieve and really getting over their own hangups about it.